ton of bricks...

This past Monday I was able to go camping with Shaun up at Half Moon Bay. When we got there Shaun was in front (we took different cars because I was leaving the next morning and he was going to stay and camp in Santa Cruz) and apparently the park ranger guy told him they were booked and we couldn't stay there. However, they did have walk in campsites so he told Shaun if he parked his car outside the camp area and walked in with his tent he could give him one of those sites. So away we went to park his truck and put all the gear into my car. I ended up paying for a day use pass and Shaun walked through with just his tent and backpack. We met up inside the camp area and set up camp. We had the PERFECT spot...maybe 30 feet from the beach and just really quiet! When the sun set I started to get all nervous because I was told I had to leave then but Shaun was trying to assure me I could move my car closer to our campsite and it would be fine all night for just one night. Well, we did just that and decided while we were sleeping if we heard anything (like perhaps a tow truck haha) we would wake up and move it! Luckily nothing like that happened and we were able to pack up and leave the next morning for Santa Cruz. I ended up going with Shaun to Santa Cruz for a few hours and when we were about 10 minutes away (its about an hour drive from HMB to SC) I looked down at my hand and then it hit me...hard...like a ZILLION bricks all at once...the ring was gone!!! I started bawling...I tried to call Shaun who was getting farther and farther ahead of me but his phone was off. I tried to drive as fast and straight as I could while my eyes burned and tears flowed down--and not to mention the marine layer was horrible and you could hardly see at certain points. Keep in mind this was not ANY ring...it's my dads wedding ring. How could I have lost it? I ALWAYS feel when it falls off. I was crushed. The one thing I still had of dads was now gone. How could I ever tell my mom that it was gone...let alone go on knowing that I had been careless and lost his ring? When we arrived in Santa Cruz I got outta the car and Shaun instantly knew something was wrong. When I finally got out the words of what happened he opened my trunk and started going through my things. Bless his heart!!! :) We didn't find it in our stuff and Shaun finally looked at me and said he wanted to go back and look for it. I felt sooo guilty and didn't want to go back because I knew it would be like finding a needle in a hay stack. However, his sweet smile and generous heart won me over and before we knew it we were standing back at camp looking all around for it. I wish this story had a happy ending. I wish I could say I walked into the bathroom and there it was just sitting there waiting for me to come back. However, it wasn't there. I never did find it. I still have a horrible feeling everytime I look down at my hand and see the tan line. Something inside me says I will find it in my stuff one day but I doubt that's true. The moral of the story is--surround yourself with good people and friends so that when you go through something like this, when you feel like your world came crushing down, they are there to help you find a way out and be a shoulder to lean on. The hug I got from Shaun when we were leaving the campsite after looking for the ring was the best hug I could ever imagine. In that moment, I knew he felt my pain and understood what the ring meant to me. Perhaps I lost the ring for a reason. Maybe it was a sign that I didn't need a physical symbol to remember my dad and keep him with me. Maybe it was time for me to learn to lean on myself and my true feelings that lie within me. Whatever the reason is, I know it happened for a reason no matter how hard and how much it sucks being in this position right now. I am just glad I have a good enough friend to put his plans on hold and help me search for something that meant the world to me. If he only knew how much it meant to me--maybe he already knows it...who knows! :)