PICTURES...

I don't have anything to say other than enjoy the pictures! :)

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Life...

Life is funny sometimes. Just when you think you have overcome a challenge or a certain task, you learn that you haven't. This is one lesson I learned this past week. Last Sunday we got the phone call that my 93 year old grandma had passed away in her sleep around 3am. She was 93 and lived a very active life but she was so ready to be done living on earth and ready to be with my grandpa, who passed away almost 24 years ago. I didn't know my grandma very well, even though she lived an hour and a half away my entire life. She was very close to my family when I was younger but the last time I remember seeing her was when I was in 3rd grade. Grandma Moog (seriously isnt that the BEST last name ever?!? I am tempted to name one of my children Moog just for the sake of an awesome name...hahahahaha) was the last grandparent I had alive so knowing she has left this earth life was pretty hard. I think the hardest part was just when I thought I had overcome this crappy situation of death, it strikes my family again. I have had a very hard time this year with the passing of my dad and I go through stages where I am okay and I know he is gone, to being in complete denial. My mind plays these SHITTY games on me and tries to convince me he is just on a vacation and will be back soon when I know he won't be. Lately, anytime a slow song comes on, I have to turn it because I start to cry really hard. The past few weeks I couldn't look at ANY pictures that had anyone in my family in them because I would break down. Well, I thought I was getting better then Sunday came around and now, I am feeling as though I am back at square one..only I feel a tad guilty because I am not sad that about my grandma, I am still sad about my dad. During her funeral they sang I am a Child of God...my dads favorite song and the amazing musical number we had a lady in our ward sing at his service. I looked at my brothers and sisters at my grandmas funeral during this song and it broke my heart to see each of us with our heads down sobbing, tears flowing down our faces like water coming out of a faucet. Why? Why does a song make you go through so many emotions? I didn't know what to do--cry for myself and my loss, or suck it up and comfort my older brother and mom who have a hard time dealing with emotion? I wish I could say the services for grandma were lovely...but they weren't; in fact, they were rather ghetto. My aunt and her family showed up in freakn Hawaiian attire...seriously?!? The night before the services they were trying to put together the program still, they didn't do an obituary till the night before, the viewing was 15 minutes...LITERALLY, we didnt stand when the body came in or out, and they didn't ask ANYONE to be paul bearers until they were at the gravesight. Call me crazy but I thought it would be super nice and classy because that's how grandma was, and she knew she was going to be leaving earth soon. It made me appreciate everyone that helped out on dads so much more! Anyway, enough about that. I have other news to talk about...

*I signed my apartment papers--December 10th is moving day! (come help!!!)

* I got a 2nd job running an after school program

* Shaun and I are about to go on 4 months...yay for us

* I finally got a physical after years of dreading them and passed with flying colors

* I can wear a size Medium top...but the large is still more comfy for now! :)

* Size 14 jeans are beginning to be too big

* I joined a bootcamp evernight in Modesto...it kicks my trash!!!

* Went to Yosemite for the first time and HATED it

* Still trying to figure out what school to go to for my masters...I really need to focus on it

* Enjoyed my first HUGE paycheck from work...working full time has MAJOR pros

* pulled my groin muscle...hurt like a freakn B!!!

* went from blonde back to brunette...LOVE it (even though Shaun doesn't)

* In charge of classroom trick-or-treating for my lovely students

* Ran a daycare at a wedding for 11 kids...think I might consider doing it full time ;)

Lately...

I don't even know when the last time I posted was so I am going to do a quick rundown of the things that have been going on lately. Hopefully I won't leave anything out or repeat any...but if I do...sorry! You love me anyway! :)

*Work started and I LOVE working with the blind

* Shaun quit his weekend job so we officially have weekends free!!!

* We are in the next phase of the lawsuit with Kaiser...the never ending phase is among us
* Went camping at Turlock lake with Shaun

* Went to my FIRST official concert!

* Got a rose covered bed! :)

* Drove down to surprise Shaun on his birthday--August 11th

* Got a HUGE freakn dent in my car! LOVELY

* officially planned my Idaho roadtrip with Shaun

* Celebrated Dad's birthday with the ENTIRE family

* Went to Marine World with Shaun and the Venturini clan

* Officially lost 50 pounds...

**Summer is coming to a close and I am really sad about it. My entire life I have HATED summer...and now I am loving it! This has totally been a summer to remember and I know that no matter what happens, I will always remember it! I hope you enjoy some of these pictures! Summer 2010 was an amazing experience! :) Now onto my birthday and trying to calm the boyfriend before he meets the whole Nelson clan!!!

Work...

This past Wednesday I started my first post college full time job! I guess it is about time that I make the transition to this so called "adult life". I am very happy to report the transition has been a blast and I am in LOVE with my job...except the alarm going off each morning at 6am...I still have not mastered how to not hit the snooze twice on it but hopefully with time, I will get better! The best part about my job is the amazing little children I get to work with. They are some of the most loving, funniest, happiest, and care free children I have ever had the opportunity to be around and they make waking up each morning totally worth it. I work in a SH classroom with 3rd-5th graders who make me a better person each day and who always make me forget about my trials and bad days. The one little boy I work most with is a little blind boy. I was so excited when I found out he was seeing impaired because it brought me back to my roots--my childhood of being able to be with Stephanie each day from Kindergarten forward. I love being able to rely back on my previous knowledge of things such as braille, cane mobility, and games which help them to adapt to life better. The sayings this little boy comes up with make me smile from ear to ear! He has a love for new things--especially new shoes. Each time he meets someone, he asks the name and what they have on their feet. Once they respond "shoes" he asks, "are your shoes new or old"...before I have the chance to warn them to say new, half the people say, "oh these are pretty old" and he gets so frustrated! It is the funniest thing to watch because he grunts and then goes, "well I am going to go buy you new shoes because you have BEAUTIFUL feet and they need new shoes". If you happen to say your shoes are new, he does a little happy dance! So I call him happy feet! I am his special helper and I love it because of the things he tells me. Yesterday he kept saying, "Miss Stephanie you are beautiful, you are so gorgeous and precious to me"...keep in mind, he is blind! I love getting compliments from a blind little boy! The students in the classroom are full of so much energy. Each day when I walk out to my car to go home, I have a new sense of life and enjoyment for the things I have in my life. The moral of this story is be grateful for what you have--don't make an issue out of a non issue and look on the bright side of life. Most of the students I work with will not live a full life but that does not effect them. Some of them will never be able to live on their own, but they don't mind it. If they can be so happy all day then why can't I? Why do I get frustrated with things in my life instead of looking for the better? I know working at this school is going to make me such a better person and I look forward to the days, weeks, months, and years ahead I have of working with special needs kids. They truly do bring out the best in me and I love it! I am excited for Monday to roll around as I walk into the classroom with my Starbucks to awaiting children who are so eager to learn...not to mention the hugs that await when you walk in the door are pretty amazing! :)

ton of bricks...

This past Monday I was able to go camping with Shaun up at Half Moon Bay. When we got there Shaun was in front (we took different cars because I was leaving the next morning and he was going to stay and camp in Santa Cruz) and apparently the park ranger guy told him they were booked and we couldn't stay there. However, they did have walk in campsites so he told Shaun if he parked his car outside the camp area and walked in with his tent he could give him one of those sites. So away we went to park his truck and put all the gear into my car. I ended up paying for a day use pass and Shaun walked through with just his tent and backpack. We met up inside the camp area and set up camp. We had the PERFECT spot...maybe 30 feet from the beach and just really quiet! When the sun set I started to get all nervous because I was told I had to leave then but Shaun was trying to assure me I could move my car closer to our campsite and it would be fine all night for just one night. Well, we did just that and decided while we were sleeping if we heard anything (like perhaps a tow truck haha) we would wake up and move it! Luckily nothing like that happened and we were able to pack up and leave the next morning for Santa Cruz. I ended up going with Shaun to Santa Cruz for a few hours and when we were about 10 minutes away (its about an hour drive from HMB to SC) I looked down at my hand and then it hit me...hard...like a ZILLION bricks all at once...the ring was gone!!! I started bawling...I tried to call Shaun who was getting farther and farther ahead of me but his phone was off. I tried to drive as fast and straight as I could while my eyes burned and tears flowed down--and not to mention the marine layer was horrible and you could hardly see at certain points. Keep in mind this was not ANY ring...it's my dads wedding ring. How could I have lost it? I ALWAYS feel when it falls off. I was crushed. The one thing I still had of dads was now gone. How could I ever tell my mom that it was gone...let alone go on knowing that I had been careless and lost his ring? When we arrived in Santa Cruz I got outta the car and Shaun instantly knew something was wrong. When I finally got out the words of what happened he opened my trunk and started going through my things. Bless his heart!!! :) We didn't find it in our stuff and Shaun finally looked at me and said he wanted to go back and look for it. I felt sooo guilty and didn't want to go back because I knew it would be like finding a needle in a hay stack. However, his sweet smile and generous heart won me over and before we knew it we were standing back at camp looking all around for it. I wish this story had a happy ending. I wish I could say I walked into the bathroom and there it was just sitting there waiting for me to come back. However, it wasn't there. I never did find it. I still have a horrible feeling everytime I look down at my hand and see the tan line. Something inside me says I will find it in my stuff one day but I doubt that's true. The moral of the story is--surround yourself with good people and friends so that when you go through something like this, when you feel like your world came crushing down, they are there to help you find a way out and be a shoulder to lean on. The hug I got from Shaun when we were leaving the campsite after looking for the ring was the best hug I could ever imagine. In that moment, I knew he felt my pain and understood what the ring meant to me. Perhaps I lost the ring for a reason. Maybe it was a sign that I didn't need a physical symbol to remember my dad and keep him with me. Maybe it was time for me to learn to lean on myself and my true feelings that lie within me. Whatever the reason is, I know it happened for a reason no matter how hard and how much it sucks being in this position right now. I am just glad I have a good enough friend to put his plans on hold and help me search for something that meant the world to me. If he only knew how much it meant to me--maybe he already knows it...who knows! :)

summer 2010

This is turning out to be one of the best summers of my life!!! I have been able to experience so many amazing things and I am very thankful for all of them! The 4th of July was really hard on me because it was always Dad's biggest and favorite holiday so without him here, it was hard to go on and have a blast. However, my uncle, his brother, was able to come down with his entire family and I had a blast with them! They are the only family on my dad's side that I really know--and since they only live 4 hours away, hanging out and staying in contact with them is way more easy than those in South Carolina! My cousin Kimmy and I are 2 peas in a pod. We had this GREAT idea to go out and buy water balloons on the 4th and not tell anyone so we could get some great surprise attacks going. Well part of our "MASTER" idea was to fill them upstairs and put them in the ice chest then carry them down when everyone was out of the front room. Well we ended up carrying it down with the lowest amount of people were around since there was NO WAY of getting outta there with no one seeing us. While we carried it downstairs, the balloons were popping and soaking the ENTIRE stairway! It was sooo funny because our idea was HORRIBLE and we were soaked by the time we got to the last step! However, we had an amazing water fight and when I thought I was super cool and got a water gun without anyone noticing, Niky, my cousin, had BUCKETS filled with water she was DUMPING on me! I was screwed after the first bucket and suddenly my little water gun was not the shiz anymore! Shaun and I have been enjoying each others company and this Sunday is officially a month...funny that it has only been a month but its fun so far! He has met only 2 of my siblings and my mom so he still has a lot of meeting to do! This past weekend we decided to be random and go on a roadtrip to a place we have never been. I borrowed Tara's map and we closed our eyes and each picked a place. The place I picked Shaun had been to so we went with his--which was Paskenta California...about a 3 hour car ride and there was NOTHING there! WE still had so much fun and enjoyed getting to talk and spend time together in the car. We went there and then we went to Chico and Sacramento and enjoyed a lovely picnic lunch by the river! Oh how I love this boy! He is too good to be true! :) Also this summer I was able to welcome baby Jacob to the family! Chuck had his 3rd (and hopefully last) baby and I was able to take Bailey and Peyton up to the hospital to meet him for the first time! It was bittersweet holding a newborn baby because I could only think of how dad was just with him just a day before. I also just heard that Emily and Anthony are having a baby girl! I cannot believe my family will FINALLY be getting another girl! 6 boys and 1 girl soon to be 2 girls in December! Logynn Rae is due December 16th so that is another fun thing to look forward to! Perhaps the best part of summer this year is the fact that it has not been insanely hot! I was dreading being home all summer for the first time in 4 years but it is not as bad as I was thinking! This coming weekend I have my first Giants game with Shaun (we are going to celebrate the month mark) and then in the following week I am preparing for my Utah/Idaho trip! So many fun things to look forward too...summer might actually start becoming my favorite season afterall! :)

San Fran Fun...

I love living in the central valley! One of my favorite things about the location, is just that--the location! I am lucky enough to live within an hour and a half of anything you could want! Snow, beach, mountains, hiking...whatever you want you will find in any direction! My favorite part of summer is being out of work and being able to go on roadtrips with my 2 bf's (best friend and boy friend...we will get to the boy friend part in a minute)! We just went and spent the entire day in San Fran and had so much fun! I have been the city so many times but I still had a list...and in fact, still have a list, of things I want to do there! We were able to compile a list of everything we did yesterday for free and the only thing we did end up paying for was the toll to go across the bridge! We brought our own picnic lunch and ate on the beach so we didnt even have to worry about food! We are just good like that! We were able to visit the Full House actual house (and the neighbor one which actually has the red doors now), go to the wave piano, go to fort point, and of course, finish with the beach! I had so much fun and am so glad that I had my 2 bf's there! OH yeah, and now to the boy part...haha. Best for last right?!? I started dating an amazing boy named Shaun...he is super sweet and caring and just really awesome! We enjoy each others company and share a lot of interests and goals! Something tells me he is a keeper! :)